Pain Inviting Pleasure
by Simplistic Nostalgia
Summary: InuKik. A little Kagome bashing. Kikyou dealing with unforgiving guilt for 12 years. It hurts her so much, it might just kill her. But will she over come this? InuKik. New Alternative ending. Don't think it fits witht he rest of the fic. It ends w InuKik
1. Chapter 1

This story is dedicated to the people who reviewed "To Love Again" and I hope you guys might like this one. If you have any ideas that would be awesome because I sometimes have writers block.

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, but I wish I could own Samurai Champloo!

Let me tell you the ages:

Kikyou: 20  
Kagome: 20  
Inuyasha: 21  
Naraku: 21

Chapter 1

Kikyou wakes up and yawns. She finds a a bunch of roses next to her. Kikyou wonders how that got there. She looks around her room and gets up to look outside the window. There, she sees Inuyasha waiting outside._ He's waiting for Kagome, I guess._ Kikyou looks at a card on top of the red roses. "Why would someone bring me roses?" She asked herself, "Probably a stupid joke that Kagome made up." Kikyou finds a black shirt and blue jeans, and decides to wear them. Kikyou picks up the roses and the the card, and walks out of her room. Without paying attention to where she was going Kikyou bumps into Kagome. _Another day, another criticism from Kagome._ "I'm sorry Kagome, I didn't mean for that to happen." Kikyou tried not to get Kagome mad, the last thing she needed is Kagome to bother her.

Kagome gets irritated and makes a face._ I can't believe I'm related to her! She can't even watch where she's going! Well, I guess I'll drop it this time. Inuyasha needs to talk to me about something. I know for a fact, Inuyasha wants to take our relationship to the next level. I mean we've been together for two years._ It is true. They have been together for two years. They've finished school and college. "It's okay," Kagome assured Kikyou, " I'm so happy today so, don't worry." Kagome smiled and Kikyou is confused. _Did I hear that correctly? Kagome seem so strange today. Who cares! As long as I have my free time without Kagome yapping her mouth, I don't care at all._ Kikyou walks past Kagome and puts the red roses in a vase. Kikyou opens the card and reads it...

I cant go through a day  
Without looking upon you face  
I can't sleep through the night  
Without knowing you are all right  
To cure this longing heart

From,

Your admirer

"Kagome couldn't have done this. She is really bad at poetry," Kikyou told herself. _Who would want me as his lover? There's nothing special about me. I don't talk to any guy that hits on me. I just ignore him. So why me? _Kikyou took the card into her pocket. Before heading outside, Kikyou looks at the photo of her and her mother. Tears fell from her eyes and she blamed herself for her mothers death. Now that her mother is dead, Kikyou has to take care of both of them. First she must ask Sango for a job while she stops by at the flower shop.

Kikyou wiped her face and headed out. Inuyasha looks to see who came out. Inuyasha greets her, " Nice morning we are having, huh?" Kikyou smiles at him. "So far it is," whispers Kikyou. Since Inuyasha was an Inu - hanyou, he could here Kikyou. "Good bye," Kikyou leaves. She has been having strange feelings for Inuyasha. Inuyasha grabs her arm and says if she's okay, that she looks sad everyday. Kikyou assures Inuyasha that she's fine and that he should let go of her arm. Inuyasha lets go and Kikyou continues her way. _Inuyasha why must you make me feel this way?_ Kikyou walked until she saw a flower shop.

Kikyou comes in and greets Sango, who works at the counter and is the manager at the shop. "Hello Kikyou, want the usual?" asked Sango. Kikyou shook her head. "This time I would like red and black roses please," answered Kikyou. Sango went to the back room and pick the roses that she wanted. "Sango may I ask you something?" asked Kikyou. Sango looks at her. "I want to get a job here, is that okay?" Kikyou looks at Sango waiting for answer. "That would be great Kikyou," said Sango, " I really need some help with redecorating the shop because we need more money or I'll have to close it." KIkyou nodded and headed out. "Thank you, Sango," Kikyou said on her way out.

Kikyou headed for the cemetery where her mother is. Kikyou opens the gate and continued her way. The cemetery looked dull and dreadful. Kikyou sighed as she stood in front her her mothers gravestone. "Hello mother," Kikyou whispers, " I brought you new flowers today." Kikyou lays the flowers on top of her mother's grave. _If it wasn't for me you would still be alive. Because of me you are dead. Because of me Kagome hates me._ " I'm so sorry that I made Father leave us. I'm sorry, it's all my fault," cried Kikyou. Tears fell from her eyes yet again.

_Nothing can get worse than it already is._ "Hello, Kikyou." Kikyou turned only to see Naraku there. _I thought too soon._ "What is it that you want Naraku?" Kikyou didn't have time for this. "Oh, but my sweet bellflower, all I want is you." Naraku made his attempt towards Kikyou. Kikyou hated him. She never thought of him as a friend. He always stalked her and bothers her everyday. He is much worse than Kagome. Kikyou runs past him, except he grabs her and embraces her tightly so she won't get away. "Naraku, let go of me!" Kikyou yelled. "No, I want you and I will have you. No matter what it takes!" Naraku laughs and Kikyou struggles to get free. Kikyou had only one option since she was so close to him. Kikyou kicks him in between the legs and runs far away. Kikyou stops until she finds Inuyasha and Kagome together.

A/n: I hoped you like this chapter!

Credits will be at the end of the chapter!


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha!

A/N: Thank you for the reviews!

Chapter 2:

Kikyou stopped her running when she saw Inuyasha and Kagome. They were laughing. Inuyasha and Kagome seem to be having fun, since they were so happy. Kikyou felt jealousy beginning to rise. _What is this I'm feeling? Why am I feeling this? What's wrong with me? _Kikyou couldn't understand her emotions that were swirling inside her. Kikyou could feel tears forming in her eyes. She held them back. Inuyasha and Kagome walked past Kikyou, still laughing. Kikyou froze where she stood.

Kikyou turned her head and watched them leave. Tears slid down her face and her eyes turned red from crying. She continued to watch them leave her until she couldn't see them any longer. Kikyou turned away and cried silently. Kikyou doesn't understand why she was feeling this way. _Why is there a reason to cry? Why do I feel this way? What is wrong with me? Someone, anyone, please help me. _With her fist clenched in confusion, Kikyou continued her walk. Not ever looking back.

Inuyasha came to his senses and stopped laughing. The scent of tears and Kikyou made its way to Inuyasha's nose. Inuyasha had a serious look on his face right now. If anyone tried to hurt her, they would have to answer to his fist. But Kikyou has been sad every single day. _What could make feel that way? What happened to her in the past? I will find a way to release her from the misery she suffered. One way or another. _Kagome stopped her laughing when Inuyasha held a face that he was thinking about something. "Inuyasha, what's wrong?" Kagome questioned. Inuyasha looked at her and said it was nothing.

Kikyou continued her way until she saw a house. It was abandon and it seem to was creepy looking. Of course, Kikyou was a kind of person that was opposite of Kagome. She loved creepy and scary things. Kagome would always freak out and leave. Kikyou walked to the front door and opened it. She walks inside and marveled at what she saw. There were wonderful paintings that seemed to be worth millions. She saw black roses in a vase on a little table. She grabbed one and made her way to the back door which led her to the back yard.

She opens the door and widened her eyes. The owner had a grave yard. All the gravestones had flowers beside them. But what surprised her the most was that the past owner planted a Shidarezakura tree. The Shidarezakura was planted on top of a small hill at the end the the graveyard. The most beautiful tree Kikyou has seen. She looked around her while she made her way to the tree. Kikyou rested her back on the bark of the Shidarezakura and relaxed. It's like one living creature is surrounded by the dead. Kikyou had a better view of the burial site.

_I could consider coming here every single day. No one to bother me. No one to hurt me. I feel so relaxed here._ This place is like place of Eden being protected by a barrier to keep the tainted out. The mere existence of this place could make Kikyou's emotions of confusion and depression vanish to nowhere. Except for one feeling that won't leave her alone. The feeling that haunted her for twelve years. The blame for her mother's death, her father's disappearance, and the hatred that her sister had for her. _If I was never there in the first place would things be different? _Kikyou cried yet again. This guilt that she lived with for all these years was killing her from the inside out.

Flashback:

An eight-year-old girl is walking through the park. Kikyou seem very happy eating her ice cream. She noticed three people walking together. The ones on the sides were females and the the one in the middle was... her Father! They were walking towards her. She hid behind a nearby bush. _What's he doing with them? _Kikyou kept a closeful eye on her father. They continued to walk. She could see her father's arms wrapped around their waist. She continued to follow them until they reached to his car. He kissed both of their lips. Kikyou could feel anger rising up. Her father was betraying his family.

Kikyou could feel her ice cream melting. She dropped it and walked home. Kikyou knocked on the door and her mother opened it. She could see anger in her daughter's eyes, but said nothing about it. Kikyou walked past her and into her room. She tore pictures of her father and her. For days she was locked up in her room. She would sometimes go out to try and forget about it, but Kikyou could always see her father nearby with other women. Weeks had past by, Kikyou could see that her sister and mother knew nothing about this.

Kikyou couldn't take anymore. She couldn't take the fact that he was betraying them. She took all the things that he had given her, including clothes and jewelery. She also took matches with her. Kikyou piled up her stuff in the some old factory she used to hang out in and took a match. She lit it up and threw it on top of it. She took every single match and lit up and threw it. Kikyou watched her her stuff burn. She was done yet. Later, she confronted her father and told her mother. Her father left them with nothing. Kikyou's mother was depressed and eventually it lead her to her death. Kikyou blamed herself for this. Now Kikyou and her sister had to live in a foster home. Ever since her mother's death, Kagome hated her sister.

End Flashback:

Kikyou clutched unto the rose in her hands. She could feel the thorns piercing through her flesh. Blood dripped down from the holes the thorns created. Kikyou opened her hands saw the blood drip from her hands. _It's all my fault. It's all my fault. It's all my fault. _Those words repeated itself in Kikyou's mind. This guilt will never go away. Kikyou lifts herself up and walks out of the abandon house. _I understand now. No one is there to save me . No one is there to even care. _Kikyou dropped the blood soaked rose to the ground and left.

A/n: I hope you like this chapter. Right now I'm working on Chapter 8 for "Forever Wounds Healed".


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha!

A/n: I'm sorry for not updating any of my stories as quickly as possible. I get a lot of writers block. Anyway, I don't want to bother you with my group, but I was wondering if you could stop by and see if anything's dull. If it's missing anything that a great Kikyou site is missing please tell me. my group seems so dead. Here's the next chapter!

Chapter 3:

Kikyou continued to walk with her hand soaked in blood. Kikyou hid her hand from anyone that passed her. Kikyou had lost all hope of ever moving on. She stopped by at the flower shop and asked sango if she had any bandages. Sango came in with the bandages and looked at the palm of her hand. "What happened? Where did you get that wound?" Kikyou looked at Sango with a smile. "I forgot that roses had sharp thorns, that's all. No need to worry, Sango chan." Kikyou went to the restroom and washed her hand in the sink. She looked in the mirror and looked at her own eyes. Her eyes looked blank. Nothing was shown, except depression and sorrow. _What's happening to me? Will I meet my mother very soon? Will my stay here come to an end? _Kikyou wraps the bandages around her hand.

Kikyou came out of the restroom and headed towards Sango. "I will start working here, tomorrow morning. Is that alright?" asked Kikyou. Sango nodded and gave her free bell flowers. _Maybe giving her these will make her feel better. _Kikyou excepted them. The bell flowers looked so healthy and more beautiful than ever. "Don't worry, Kikyou. That's a gift for you, from me. I just want you to know that I am here for you. You are not alone. I lost my little brother, Kohaku," said Sango. Kikyou looked at Sango. "What happened to Kohaku?" Kikyou wanted to know, did Sango feel the same way she did? "He died in a car crash, along with my parents." Sango started to have tears in her eyes. "Where were you?" asked Kikyou. "I was in my aunt's house. I had a feeling my family wasn't coming to get me, but I waited. I was right," replied Sango.

Kikyou hugged Sango goodbye and told her not to worry. _She didn't cause her family's death, but she lost them. I am so happy that Sango has moved on. She has a good heart. I wish to be like her. _Kikyou walked to her house. Inuyasha left Kagome in her house. Inuyasha can see Kikyou coming. He immediately saw the bandages around her left hand. _Kikyou... _Inuyasha ran towards Kikyou. Kikyou hid her hand from Inuyasha. She didn't want to hear anything from him. All she wants is to be alone. "Hello, Inuyasha. I have to go." Kikyou tried to pass Inuyasha, but he continued to block her way. "Kikyou, who hurt you? What happened?" Inuyasha wanted an answer. He would show the person who hurt Kikyou, a painful lesson.

Kikyou closed her eyes. She felt the wind passing through her hair. "Inuyasha, please get out of my way." Kikyou didn't want to face Inuyasha. She was confused with her feelings. He was nothing but her friend, was he not? _Why do I feel this way for you. I can't stop feeling this way. What did you do to me, Inuyasha? _Inuyasha looked at Kikyou. He noticed that only a part of her wounded hand was showing. He saw a hint of red showing. "Kikyou, I won't move until you tell me who did this to you." With each arm raise, he blocked her way. Kikyou walked towards him. Putting her hands on each of his arm. Inuyasha shook within her touch. Kikyou made sure her lips were beside his right ear. Inuyasha froze and did not make an attempt to move. He didn't want to. He wanted to get this close to Kikyou and closer. "Me," whispered Kikyou. Inuyasha's eyes widen and did not move an inch after he lowered his arms.

Kikyou moved her head in front of Inuyasha. Her heart began to beat faster within each second. She looked in his eyes trying to find a hint of something. He was confused. Inuyasha wrapped his arms around Kikyou. Kikyou gasped a little and unknowingly, hugged him back. _What am I doing. What's going on? _Kikyou relaxed herself in Inuyasha's arm. "Inuyasha.." whispered Kikyou. Inuyasha tightened his grip on her. Kikyou felt something that hasn't been felt before. She was happy. Happy with Inuyasha. _I have no control over my body! What is happening to me? Why do I feel safe with Inuyasha? _Kikyou buried her face in Inuyasha's chest. Inuyasha is lost in Kikyou's scent. He buried his face on her neck. Kikyou moved her hand onto his neck and rubbed it.

Inuyasha couldn't take it anymore. He loves her. He loved the way she was in his thoughts and dreams. He loved her smile and her eyes. He showered her neck with kisses and rubbed her back with his hand. He moved her closer to close the space between them. _I can't. This is wrong! What about Kagome? Doesn't he love Kagome? _Kikyou couldn't control herself. She moaned within his touch. "Inuyasha," she whispered. He lifted his head and crashed his lips against hers. Kikyou's eyes widen. She had no control over herself. She caressed his cheek and returned the kiss. Her first kiss was special. Even if she knew it was wrong, it was special.

All of a sudden, a flashback came to her. Her father with other women. Kikyou ignored that flashback. Tears were forming and another flashback came. Her mother, seen on her bed, dead with a knife in her heart. _The same thing is happening again! Will the same thing that happened to Mother, happen to Kagome? I can't handle another person's death. Kagome may hate me, but she is the only one I have left. I can't do this. I just can't! _Kikyou tried to move her arms. She pushed him off her. Inuyasha breathed heavily and looked at her. "I'm sorry, but I can't do this." Kikyou wiped her tears away and looked away. "Why not, I know you liked it." Inuyasha embraced her and whispered three words to her. "I love you."

Kikyou wrapped her arms around him. She had to fight him. It's not right! " I can't, Inuyasha, " whispered Kikyou. Kikyou pulled away from Inuyasha. "Why not?" asked Inuyasha. Kikyou moved to Inuyasha and put her lips beside his ear. "Kagome." Kikyou caressed his cheek and layed her lips against his. He returned it without hesitation. Kikyou loved the feeling of his lips. She pulled away once again. She ran to her home and left Inuyasha with a sad expression on his face. They would always savior this moment. Inuyasha walked away knowing that Kikyou would always be in his mind, never leaving him be.

Kikyou, went in her room. Now she knew Inuyasha sent her that gift. She put the bell flowers in another vase. She took out her poem and read her it over and over again. Inuyasha loved her. _I can't escape it. I love him, too. But will Kagome allow it? Would she ever forgive me if Inuyasha left her? _Kikyou remembered how happy she felt with Inuyasha with her. That was the happiest she has ever felt. "I want to be with you, but I can not," Kikyou said to herself. She looked out her window and saw there staring back at her. Her hand touched screen. She mouthed 'I'm sorry' to him and walked away.

A/n: I have never wrote a fluff like that. I hope you like the chapter.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha. If I did, Kagome would stay in her era or die and there would be a love triangle between Inu/Kik/Sess.

A/n: I'm sorry for not updating as fast as I can. School is coming and my ideas seem to be numerous (Why couldn't that happen at the beginning of my weekend?) Anyhow, I hope you like this chapter.

Chapter: 4

The next morning, Kikyou woke up with tears stains on her face. She had been crying the whole night. Knowing she can't be with Inuyasha. Kikyou got up and walked to the bathroom and washed her face. She brushed her hair and teeth. She sighed and headed downstairs. There she saw Kagome with Inuyasha talking. Kikyou immediately hid herself. _What's he doing here? I can't face right now, not after what happened yesterday. Damn, what the hell am I going to do now? _Kikyou peaked from the corner of her eye to look at them. Inuyasha and Kagome were making out. Kikyou felt pain in her heart, but this could be her chance to get out of the house without them knowing. She slowly walked from her hiding spot and continued her way to the door. She was moving around them and saw Inuyasha's ears twitch. Kikyou stood still for a moment. Inuyasha went back to kissing Kagome. Kikyou continued to walk and opened the door. Inuyasha smelled Kikyou's scent and pulled away. Kagome opened her eyes and began to pout. "Inuyasha, what's wrong?" asked Kagome.

Kikyou closed the door and sighed in relief. "That was close!" Kikyou laughed quietly and walked to Sango's flower shop. Inuyasha told Kagome he had to go home. Kagome agreed and went to her room. Inuyasha left the house and followed Kikyou's scent. There he saw Kikyou walking and followed her. Kikyou felt she was being followed and quickened her pace. Inuyasha went faster. Kikyou went into the flower shop and greeted Sango. "Good morning, Sango. Is there anything you wish for me to do?" Kikyou smiled at her, waiting for her response. "Well, I need you to water the flower plants. After that, I will tell you what other things you should do." Sango went to the counter and wiped it with a cloth and spray. Imuyasha came into the shop and decided to buy something, but he merely wishes to see Kikyou.

Sango looked at the entrance and noticed Inuyasha come in. "Hello, Inuyasha, how are you?" asked Sango. Inuyasha wasn't really paying attention to Sango. He was looking for a certain person. "Inuyasha, who are you looking for? Kikyou?" asked Sango. She was well aware that Inuyasha was with Kagome. "Well, have you seen her? I have to talk to her. It's very important." Inuyasha was looking at her. Kikyou watered the plants in the back room. Never in her life had she seen so many beautiful flowers. _Why would anyone not come buy flowers here? These are beautiful. _Kikyou finished her watering and headed out of the room. But before she could open the door, she heard Inuyasha's voice. _Don't tell me he followed me here! Damn, that's one hell of stubborn hanyou. _

"So tell me what is this 'important' conversation about, Inuyasha?" said Sango. "It's none of your business!" Inuyasha sighed," May I please speak with Kikyou?" Sango never really heard Inuyasha ask so politely. Sango nodded and called out Kikyou to come out. By the door, Kikyou sighed. She didn't want to see him today, but at the same time she did. Kikyou took a deep breathe and came out. She saw Inuyasha smile at her and Sango looking at her suspiciously. "Yes?" Kikyou tried to say it without any restraint. "Mr. Tetsusiaga wishes to speak with you." Sango smiled and headed to the back room.

Kikyou faced Inuyasha faced Inuyasha with a glare. "You followed me?" Inuyasha nodded and came closer to Kikyou. "Inuyasha, please leave me alone. Forget everything that happened yesterday," pleaded Kikyou. "You know I can't forget. I told you once and I'll say it again, I love you," responded Inuyasha. Inuyasha grabbed Kikyou's arm and pulled her to an embrace. Kikyou couldn't pull herself out of his embrace. She felt warmth and she felt loved. Inuyasha breathed her scent and buried his face on the side of her neck. Sango is there watching everything through a small opening of the door. "Seems like Kikyou found her admirer," whispered Sango. Inuyasha's ears twitched and he looked around. The door was open and he saw Sango spying on them. _I should have kept my mouth shut. _Sango closed it silently and waited for awhile for them to finish.

Inuyasha smirked and went back to Kikyou. Kikyou had not lift her arms to embrace him. She meant what she said, thatthey couldn't be together. "Kikyou, onegai, I love you," Inuyasha pleaded. He knew without a doubt she loved him, too. "I can't, you must understand, I can't do this," said Kikyou. Sango may not be watching, but she is hearing them with her ear pressed against the door. _Kikyou, yes you can. He loves you, just give him a chance. Forget about his girlfriend. _Sango prayed that Kikyou would just give in. Kikyou had confused emotions. She didn't want this to happen. She lived her life waiting for it to end. Her parents were gone because of her. Kagome hated her because of her. Kikyou was to blame for everything. **(I'm not saying she is, it's how Kikyou felt.) **Now Inuyasha is in love with her and he's with Kagome. Kikyou can't take it anymore. She can't live Kagome hating her even more. She can't take anymore blame for anything else.

Kikyou pulled out it. Anger was flowing through out her body. She wouldn't let Inuyasha win this time. She slapped him hard. Sango's eyes widen and opened the door. She saw Kikyou's hand raised and left side of Inuyasha's face red. "I told once and I will tell you again. I can't be with you! Now leave me alone," snapped Kikyou. She had it. She begged Sango for her forgiveness and left the shop. _I can't take this anymore. _Kikyou ran into her house and slammed the front door. Kagome looked up at her sister. _Something's wrong. Something's wrong with Kikyou. _"Kikyou what happened. Tell me, please. Kikyou?" Kagome saw her sister in tears, her fists clenched, and her bangs covering eyes. Kagome didn't like what was going on. Sure she may hate Kikyou, but the way Kikyou acted was really scaring her. Kikyou walked past her sister and into the kitchen. She grabbed a knife, but hid it from her sister.

"Kikyou what are you holding? Kikyou answer me!" yelled Kagome. Kagome began to cry. Kikyou acting strange and she didn't like it. Kikyou turned to Kagome. "What I do is none of your concern. Now leave me alone." Kikyou was glaring at Kagome. Kagome saw her eyes and it wasn't normal. Kikyou ran up the stairs and into her room. Kagome panicked, she didn't know what to do. Kikyou locked the door and took out the knife she carried. She took the knife and slashed it onthe palm of her hand. Kikyou's pain was now her only pleasure. Blood poured from her left hand. Kikyou smiled and chuckled. She grabbed the knife with her left hand and slashed her right hand. Kikyou was confused and depressed. _I can't take this anymore. _Blood was stained on the carpet and knife.

Kagome was scared. She ran to Kikyou's door. It's locked. Kagome banged on the door. "Kikyou open this door now! Please, Kikyou you're scaring me." Kikyou laughed in her mind. She would make kagome scared in even more. Kikyou took the knife and lashed it hard against her arm. She used her hand as a cup and carried the blood to the door. She poured it under the door. Kagome looked down and saw red forming on the carpet. She touched it with her fingers and realized it was blood. "Kikyou, don't do anything else!" Kagome ran to her room and picked up the phone and called for an ambulance. Kagome hung up the phone. Kikyou payed no attention to Kagome's words and slashed herself again on her other arm.

Kikyou unlocked the door and had a smile on her face. Kagome stepped out and screamed at what she saw. "Isn't what you wanted, Kagome? You want me dead for ruining your life. I apologize and I will grant you your wish." Kikyou smiled even more. She held the knife and stabbed herself in the stomach. Kagome screamed louder and cried harder. Kikyou fainted and the knife fell to the floor. Kagome crawled to her sister and cradled her. "Kikyou, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Kikyou, I love you. Please don't go." Kagome's tears fell onto Kikyou's face. Inuyasha came, braking the door to bits. He smelled blood, Kikyou's blood. He ran upstairs and saw Kikyou laying on the floor with Kagome cradling her. _Kikyou, I'm sorry..._

A/n: O.O I never thought I could write something like that! I hope you like the chapter.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.

A/n: I'm deeply sorry for not updating. I had some awful, personal troubles. Right now I'm filled with hate and sorrow. Don't you dare ask me why!

Chapter 5:

Inuyasha stood there speechless. Kikyou's bloody body lying on the floor with a knife stabbed into her. Tears formed in his eyes and he quickly fell to his knees. _Kikyou... Why?_ Kagome laying Kikyou on the floor, turned to Inuyasha. "You love her don't you?" asked Kagome. Inuyasha turned away from Kagome and crawled to Kikyou. He took Kikyou in his arms and cradled her. Kagome, being slightly annoyed, asked him again," Inuyasha, answer me! Do you love my sister!"

Inuyasha caressed Kikyou's cheek. "Isn't it obvious?" replied Inuyasha. Kagome let her bangs cover her eyes. "Why didn't you tell me? Why did you have to go behind my back and screw around with Kikyou?" Kagome felt anger flowing in her body. "Why? I thought you loved me! Why got to her?" **(Just to let you know: Kagome doesn't know the whole story about Inuyasha's relationship to Kikyou yet. So Kagome is just jumping to conclusions)** Inuyasha couldn't tell her the truth. But why keep it a secret? He has nothing else to lose. "I didn't want to hurt you. I was going to tell you today, but..." Inuyasha stopped. Kikyou's life was fading away. "Kagome, did you call an ambulance yet?" Kagome turned around. "I did, but now I don't really think I want them to come." **(Kagome is just having a hard time dealing with Inuyasha and Kikyou being together. So somethings that she says, she will regret them later on.)**

Inuyasha felt Kagome walking away and Kikyou's life force fading away. _Damn! the time that ambulance get here, Kikyou will be dead. I have to take her to my place... to see my brother._ The thought of Sesshomaru made Inuyasha cringe. He would never ask his half brother for help. But this was for Kikyou. He held her up bridal style and ran down the stairs through the door. Inuyasha ran as fast as he could, but then he noticed he was growing weaker and slower. Inuyasha looked at the sky. It was the full moon tonight. _How the hell could I forget! I'm an idiot!_ **( Yes, Inuyasha, I know you are one hell of an idiot! We all know... What the hell is wrong with you!)** His claws and fangs disappeared. His hair turned white and his eyes turned dark brown. _I have to get there before it's too late._ Inuyasha knew the tensaiga could heal wounds, but he was unaware that it could bring back the living.

Kagome stayed locked up in her room. Pondering on Kikyou's relationship with Inuyasha. Her heart filled with rage and her tears filled with sorrow. She hated her sister and she hated herself. Why should she hate Kikyou if she was the one who suffered. _She took Inuyasha away from me..._ She hated her sister more and the more she hated Kikyou, the more guilt she felt. _I shouldn't feel this way. I love her. She is the only one I have..._ Kagome walked at of her room. They weren't here yet. _How long does it take just to get here? _Kagome noticed something hanging from the phone. Kagome held it and realized that the phone was disconnected. **(Well what do you know. That's why the ambulance didn't come... ;)**

Kagome also noticed that Inuyasha and Kikyou was nowhere to be found. _Inuyasha must have taken Kikyou to Sesshomaru. I hope Sesshomaru would revive her._ All Kagome did was pray that Kikyou was going to be okay. Kagome grabbed an oxy clean bottle and a rag. Kagome cleaned up the mess of blood on the carpet. When she was done, she opened the door to Kikyou's room. Blood was everywhere on the floor. The smell of blood made Kagome cry. To think Kikyou was sad. She was much worse. She was more depressed than ever. Kagome went to work. She prayed that Inuyasha would somehow convince Sesshomaru to revive Kikyou.

Inuyasha made it to his house. He was out of breathe and couldn't tell that Kikyou was already dead. Inuyasha broke through the door. He didn't have time to put Kikyou down and get his keys. In the kitchen a dark figure held a frown and whispered Inuyasha's name. Inuyasha immediately stopped behind Sesshomaru. "What do you want from me?" asked Sesshomaru. He could tolerate Inuyasha... sometimes. "Tell me why you brought a dead women in the house, Inuyasha? Do you wish for me to revive Kagome?" Sesshomaru held no interest in Kagome. He had no interest in Inuyasha's love life at all. Inuyasha stared at Kikyou. _I'm to late... Revive?_ "You... you can revive Kikyou?" Inuyasha was held Kikyou tightly in his arms.

Sesshomaru raised a brow. _Kikyou? Well, I guess Inuyasha has found another?_ Sesshomaru sighed and turned to face his brother. Then he noticed Kikyou in his arms. Even though she was soaked in her own blood, she was beautiful. She looked like a goddess. Sesshomaru quickly took the thought out of his head. "Leave me, Inuyasha. I have no interest in reviving anybody," said Sesshomaru. He left Inuyasha there frozen. Inuyasha was out of options. He would have to do something he never thought he would ever do to Sesshomaru. "Sesshomaru wait!" yelled Inuyasha._ This is for Kikyou. Only for Kikyou._ Inuyasha laid Kikyou on the floor and walked toward Sesshomaru. He stopped behind him.

Sesshomaru for Inuyasha to say something, but he heard something fell to the ground. Sesshomaru turned around and his eyes widen for a moment. There he saw Inuyasha on his knees and his bangs were cover his face. "Sesshomaru, please revive Kikyou. I'm.. I'm.. I'm begging you..." whispered Inuyasha. Sesshomaru smirked at this site in front of him. Inuyasha swallowing his pride just for the woman he loves. _I suppose I should revive her. Inuyasha did beg me... _"Alright, Inuyasha, I will revive her." Sesshomaru went upstairs to his room and retrieved his Tensaiga. Sesshomaru came back again with the tensaiga pulsing. When Sesshomaru pressed the life giving sword into Kikyou, a blue flashing light appeared.

A/N: I'm sorry if this chapter is short. I only recieved one review on chapter 8 in Forever Wounds Healed. I'm not complaining or anything because I'm glad that I got at least something. But I really put alot of hard work on that chapter. I made longer and I tried to correct as much as grammar errors as possible. But anyway... I reread To Love Again and I really screwed the story up. Do any of you mind if I deleted it and start it all over again? It's going to longer and much more in character than before. Any way please read and review!


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I DO own Inuyasha! Just kidding...

A/n: I am so, so sorry for not updating for awhile. I have been trying to move my group to a website and trying to get html with the help of Senko. Then trying to email my affiliates about that. Then trying to get some ideas since I had a huge writers block. School is really bothering me. And to top it all off, I'm sick. I'm coughing very badly, my nose is always stuffed and I can hardly smell anything, and my ears are like plugged. But I'm trying to please you guys with more chapters.

Okay, this chapter sets back with Kikyou dead. And then goes all the way when Sesshomaru revives her. Yes I know, the relationship between Kikyou and Inuyasha was too fast. But I have another story in my head. Hopefully I'll try to keep it on a good pace.

Chapter 6

Kikyou closed her eyes and let death consume her. _This is for the better. Nobody should stand my presence and suffer for it... _Kikyou fainted and fell to the ground and letting the knife covered in her bitter blood fall to the ground, too. Kikyou's spirit was swallowed up in darkness. Kikyou could see nothing, but darkness. She couldn't hear anything, but she could feel the coldness entering her. She thought she would die from the cold, but she was already dead. But that doesn't mean she would not suffer from it. With each passing moment she would grow colder.

_There's no point in trying to warm myself. _With that Kikyou sat down and brought her knees to her chest. All of a sudden she remembered her moments with Inuyasha. She remembered the time when she slapped him in the flower shop. Kikyou felt more coldness consuming her.

**Flash back:**

Kikyou faced Inuyasha faced Inuyasha with a glare. "You followed me?" Inuyasha nodded and came closer to Kikyou. "Inuyasha, please leave me alone. Forget everything that happened yesterday," pleaded Kikyou. "You know I can't forget. I told you once and I'll say it again, I love you," responded Inuyasha. Inuyasha grabbed Kikyou's arm and pulled her to an embrace. Kikyou couldn't pull herself out of his embrace. She felt warmth and she felt loved. Inuyasha breathed her scent and buried his face on the side of her neck.

Kikyou had not lift her arms to embrace him. She meant what she said, that they couldn't be together. "Kikyou, onegai, I love you," Inuyasha pleaded. He knew without a doubt she loved him, too. "I can't, you must understand, I can't do this," said Kikyou.

Kikyou pulled out it. Anger was flowing through out her body. She wouldn't let Inuyasha win this time. She slapped him hard. Kikyou saw Sango come out. She could tell that Sango was shocked to see her slap Inuyasha. "I told once and I will tell you again. I can't be with you! Now leave me alone," snapped Kikyou.

**End of Flashback:**

Kikyou regretted the wound she gave to Inuyasha. But what could she do? She hated the thought that her body would no longerbeunder her control. Yet, she wanted to feel his lips against hers once more. With that thought she felt even more colder. Kikyou could see her spirit-like skin grow paler. Suddenly her reflection appeared right in front of her. _Is that me? _Kikyou stood up and saw her reflection. Kikyou was wearing a simple white dress. A simple white dress that ended almost to her knees. From the waist down, it left her room to walk. Kikyou's eyes were white and her skin was like almost close to whitish blue. Her lips lost its color.

Kikyou was dead. Kikyou looked dead. Tears formed in her eyes and fell. But since Kikyou was ice cold, her tears froze. In all her life she had never felt this lonely and dead. _Of course, this is death. _Kikyou reached for her reflection. As soon as her fingertips touched it, it shattered to pieces. She could see nothing else.

Kikyou saw light coming towards her. A woman with a similar hair like Kikyou only a little bit longer. She had no bangs. (Kinda like Midoriko's hair) She had rosy lips and her skin was full of color. If you compared them they would be the opposite of each other. "M.. Mother..." Kikyou choked out. The young woman smiled kindly to Kikyou, "Hello Kikyou," said the young woman. She walked until she was close enough to Kikyou. She pulled Kikyou into her embrace. Kikyou felt herself regaining warmth. Her skin and lips were regaining their natural color. Her eyes were back to their original color, too.

Tears formed in her eyes and fell. This time it did not freeze. Kikyou cried harder and wrapped her arms around her mother, Michiko. Kikyou loved her mother. She was beautiful and had much wisdom. She wanted to be like her mother, but failed miserably. " Please forgive me, Mother. I led you to your death," whispered Kikyou. Michiko had watched over Kikyou and Kagome over the years. She did not like what she saw, but she watched over them because they ere her daughter and she loved them. Michiko had enough of Kikyou's tears and her pleading for her forgiveness.

Michiko wiped Kikyou's tears with her thumb. She caressed Kikyou's cheek. Michiko wanted so much to tell her it wasn't her fault. She regretted killing herself. She left her daughters alone. Kikyou had a second chance at life. Michiko did not want Kikyou to make the same mistake she had made long ago. "Now listen to me, Kikyou. What I have done was not because of you. What I have done was foolish. I left you and Kagome alone," Michiko also cried silently, one of the traits Kikyou and her mother shared, "I should have been able to keep myself strong and live past this. I had two greatest joy in my life, but because I let my sorrow and pain over power me, I was too blind to see that."

Kikyou stared at her mother. _Mother... _"Kikyou, you are making the same mistake I have made. Because of this you left Kagome and Inuyasha with broken hearts. Would you forgive yourself if that happened?" Kikyou looked away from her mother and then nodded. "Kikyou it is not you who should beg for forgiveness. Forgive me for leaving you and your sister alone," Michiko held Kikyou tighter. Kikyou smiled. Her mother's words comforted her. "I forgive you only if you forgive me for being so foolish," Kikyou whispered. "I forgive you."

A blue, flashing light appeared a few feet away. Kikyou looked at her mother. "Go Kikyou, Inuyasha and Kagome will be waiting for you." "I love you, Mother," said Kikyou as she hugged her mother one last time. "Tell Kagome I love her!" her mother shouted. Kikyou waved her good-bye. She stopped right in front of the blue light. She pressed her hand against the blue passage way to life. Kikyou disappeared into the blue light, letting life have her once more.

**In the Tetsusiaga's home...**

Inuyasha watched Kikyou's wound heal. Her skin were less pale than before. Sesshomaru watched as the maiden came back to life. This situation did not really concern him. He did not care at all about them. But for some reason, he still stood there. Inuyasha cradled Kikyou in his arms, praying thay she would open her eyes. Kikyou took a deep breathe. She opened her eyes only to see a blurr image of a raven-haired male holding her in his arms. He looked familiar to her for some reason. He looked just like... "Inuyasha?"

A/N: I hope this chapter was worth the wait. Again please forgive me.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.

A/n: I'm sorry that I haven't updated... I hope this chapter was worth the wait. This will be the last chapter!

Chapter 7:

It was all a blur through her eyes until it was all clear. Kikyou looked at Inuyasha and quickly wrapped her arms around his shoulders. Inuyasha was shocked that Kikyou knew it was him. He told Kagome about it and she said he was more hndsome in his human form. _'I wonder which side of me does Kikyou like.'_ Sesshomaru disappeared behind them. He simply did not care about them at all. Inuyasha may not be a hanyou, but he could feel Sesshomaru leaving. His presence made the air cold. His attention turned to Kikyou and her wounds. Everything was okay. "Kikyou can you say anything at all?" asked Inuyasha. Kikyou looked at Inuyasha. "Why are you still with me?" Kikyou grew angry. _'Shouldn't he be with Kagome now? She's probably suffering because of me. She needs him to comfort her!' thought Kikyou._

Inuyasha stared at Kikyou. How could she still push him away after all they been through? Why is Kikyou making things so complicated? "I'm here for you..." Kikyou held her hand in Inuyasha's. "You know this is wrong." Inuyasha looked away and smiled. "Yeah, well... I'm not the kind of guy to follow the rules." Kikyou chuckled a bit and so did Inuyasha. Kikyou stopped and held a frown. "Kagome..." whispered Kikyou. Inuyasha had also stopped and frown. "Inuyasha you love Kagome still, right?" Kikyou held a serious face. She was going to give up everything for them both. Besides, what does she want more in this world. It's too cruel and hopefully it would be kind to them.

"What are you getting at?" asked Inuyasha. He really doesn't like where this is going. "I need you to stay with Kagome." Inuyasha squeezed Kikyou's hand. "I can't stay in this world, anymore." Tears were forming in Kikyou's eyes and forced themselves to slide down her cheeks. "Why?" "I won't tell you why, but it will make me happy if you just stay with Kagome. Please, I beg of you." Kikyou wanted to make Kagome happy. Besides, Kagome needs Inuyasha.

Flashback:

While Kikyou was running to the blue light she stopped for a moment and thought of Inuyasha and Kagome. They were good together. The deserve each other. Kikyou thought that she was a distraction in Inuyasha's love for Kagome. And she loved Inuyasha so much that she will give him what he deserves. Kagome. "Mother, I will be seeing you soon. There is just one more thing I must do before I finally die," whispered Kikyou.

End of Flashback

Kikyou looked at Inuyasha. She tried to pull herself up a little. She reach to Inuyasha and wrapped her arms around him. "Do this for me... I love you..." Kikyou pressed her lips onto his. She let Inuyasha hold her tightly. She was going to miss him. Her life was fading away. The only reason she came back was to tell Inuyasha that she loved him. She will tell Kagome the message soon. Inuyasha heard the police come in. Sesshomaru must have informed the police about it. They took her away. Kikyou was dead once again. But this time she had a smile on her face.

1 week later...

The doctor said Kikyou died out of heart failure. The funeral of her death was today and Sango, Inuyasha, and Kagome were there. Each held flowers in there hands. Sango had red roses and Inuyasha had black roses. Kagome had chinese bellflowers in her hand. And a photo of them when they were younger. They placed there items on top of the casket. Kagome held onto Inuyasha. They were back to together. Sango was happy. Inuyasha told them about what Kikyou told Inuyasha. The wind blew. It carried the voice of Kikyou. Kagome was the only one meant to hear it. Kagome listened carefully. "Mother and I love you." Kagome smiled. She loved them too.

A/N: This is the last chapter! I was to leave Inu/kik, but it was too abvious so I changed it. I hope you like the chapter despite Inu/kag pairing. I don't the couple. I don't really care about it at all. Thanks for reading!


	8. Alternative Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I do not own Inu Yasha. If I had, then… look you guys know the drill. I am just a fan who thought that Kikyou should have never died in the in the manga. She should have beaten the fucking crap out of Inuyasha for almost kissing Kagome. That is all.

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Alternate Chapter 7:

_**Doubt has never proven anything  
and redemption will never come if the question lives.  
Hesitation will keep you away.  
Hesitation will keep you away.**_

Inuyasha held Kikyou in his arms while she regained consciousness. He hoped that she could recognize him even if he appeared as a human. He paid attention to the faint sound of her heart beating. The flesh, starting to regain just the right amount of color, signaled Inuyasha that Kikyou will be all right. In all his years, he would not have thought that his chest would rupture for the reason that Kikyou would depart from her life.

Her first breath after brought back to life was hoarse and her eyes insufficiently dry. Only when tears form, did her eyes return to their natural glow. Then the form of Inuyasha came into view and she entangled her arms around her desirable lover that she knew she could not possess without shattering the heart of her sister, Kagome.

_**I am finally free from the burden that was slowly drowning me.  
How long until you reach the hand that rescued me?  
You're going under.  
You're going under.**_

In an instant impulse, he returned her embrace and cradled her possessively to his chest. The masculine aroma filled Kikyou's nostrils, while she snuggled closer to Inuyasha. Close enough to hear his heart beat steady with relaxation.

Hating to spoil their intimate moment, Kikyou needed to know what is left over for them to do. Of course, they needed to deal with Kagome.

"What is left for us to do?" queried the semi-pale with ravenous hair woman.

Thinking of Kagome, Inuyasha gave out a disheartening sigh. Contemplating on what he should do next, he finally came to a resolution. With a quick chaste kiss upon Kikyou's soft lips, he grinned with uneasiness and carried her out his residence. God did it feel good to leave his abode, he thought with relief.

They headed to Kikyou's home. Kikyou buried her face to Inuyasha's chest. She breathed in his scent and soon dozed off into a diminutive slumber. Her breath slowed in pace and her fingers fell limp.

_**There's uncertainty with every choice,  
but faith and fear are mutually exclusive.  
His assurance will bring out confidence,  
and that confidence will bring you home.**_

They reached their objective and Inuyasha kicked the door to cue Kagome that they were here since he could not use his hands. As the door opened, Inuyasha laid his eyes to the sight of Kagome's red eyes. She had been crying since he left her to aid Kikyou. Inuyasha felt pang of guilt in his heart for being the reason of Kagome's tears, but not once will he regret his decision.

Inuyasha gently laid Kikyou against a soft, comfortable sofa and her head on the armrest. Turning around to face his former love, he offered his hand. Kagome finished pondering on what she should do, but she knew no mater how much thought she could give it; Kagome would do what he asks. They went up the stairway and went into Kagome's bedroom.

_**I am finally free from the burden that was slowly drowning me.  
How long until you reach the hand that rescued me?  
You're going under.  
You're going under.**_

Behind closed door, Inuyasha seated himself upon Kagome's bed that layered with white and purple flowered duvet, light violet bed sheets, and an average pallid bed skirt. Inuyasha laid his eyes to the Boudoir pillows and a small, stuffed teddy bear. Kagome shifted a bit uncomfortably at awkward atmosphere that surrounded them both. This silence was killing her and making it unbearable for her to keep going with it.

"Why? Why Kikyou?" asked Kagome with tears threatening to shed once more.

"Don't cry Kagome. I hate to see you cry. I can't explain why it's Kikyou. It just is. When I see her, there's a spark. When I touch her or kiss her, there's this feeling in me that I can't exactly explain. This never happened with you. Kagome, I care for you. I don't want to lose you as a friend."

"Why behind my back? Why couldn't you just tell me?"

"I didn't want to hurt you."

"Oh yeah. This is so much better for me," sarcastically replied Kagome.

Inuyasha turned away from Kagome. His bangs covered his eyes and his hands were clutching tightly onto the duvet. His hands loosened there grasp and he stood up.

"Inuyasha, please don't turn away from me. Inu..Inuyasha?"

_**I am finally free from the burden that was slowly drowning me.**_

Inuyasha grabbed onto Kagome's arm and pulled her to him into an embrace. He whispered an apology for hurting her. Kagome's cheeks were tinted pink with the sudden contact. This will be the last time she would have this kind of moment, she concluded, so therefore she will bask in it until it is officially over. Grabbing the collar of his shirt, she pulled him forcefully into a passionate-filled kiss. Eyes widening and a halt in breathing hanyou froze in place. To his chagrin, her tongue wanted full entry. Kagome pulled away and said," Let me have this moment with you. This will be my way of forgiving for hurting me. Please Inuyasha."

Nodding, Inuyasha kissed Kagome. His tongue gliding against Kagome's own tongue with forced interest. Even when this gave him upmost pleasure he can give her, it brought none to him. Deciding that it was enough, he pulled away gently. Kagome's face, flushed with heat, showed that she was ready to let go. As for Inuyasha, he was more than ready to go on.

_**Break free, look up, reach out, hold on tight.**_

Kikyou rose from her slumber. She forced herself from the sofa and examined her living room. He was nowhere in sight, at least from her eyes. Where could he have gone? Distant voices reached her ears and it came from upstairs. Panting from exhaustion since Kikyou needed to get used to her body. Nearing Kagome's bedroom door, she slowly peeked inside through the slit in between the door and the wall. Her eyes did not widen to the fact that Inuyasha was holding Kagome and kissing her. Because of the dialogue between the two, there was no reason to care. At least there was not enough strength in her to care now.

_**I am finally free from the burden that was slowly drowning me.  
How long until you reach the hand that rescued me?  
You're going under.  
You're going under.**_

Now that they finished, Kikyou entered the room and faked a cough to make her presence known. Kagome turned around and faced Kikyou. She grasped Kikyou's hand and placed it over Inuyasha's hand. She gladly wrapped her slender fingers around his.

"He is all yours now. Take care of him, okay?"

Instead of her usual mendacious smiles, Kikyou smiled truthfully. What will this lead her now?

**I am finally free from the burden that was slowly drowning me.  
How long until you reach the hand that rescued me?  
You're going under.  
You're going under.  
You're going under.  
You're going under.

* * *

**

A/N: Wow, I didn't think it would be like this, but at least I tried to keep my promise. I'm sorry if my use of words are wrong. I desperately need to expand my vocabulary. I think that this story fits with the song 'Going Under' by The Beautiful Republic. I hope you enjoyed the chapter. If you want, I can make it longer if you request it.


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